up for that loss by putting your own network together, piece by piece. At the very least, you can make some new friends. At best, you can find someone you

parties. Throw parties! Tell everybody you know that youre looking. Post yourself on sites such as Match.com. Go to a matchmaker, if thats what it takes. You have nothing to be ashamed of.   Should you use every avenue, from meeting people in bars through chatting in cyberspace? Absolutely. But as with all anonymous dating, you have to be extremely careful. Even the absolute worst blind date, the one with bottle- thick glasses and buck teeth, comes with a reference - somebody whom you know knows who they are and where they live. The people you meet imper- sonally can easily hide their true identities, and if theyre out to harm you, they can do so with little risk (see Chapter 15).   Now, most of the people you meet anonymously are just like you, perfectly nice but a little lonely. But you have to take at least the most obvious precautions:   Dont rush anything. Spend time getting to know each other through e-mail and over the phone before you meet in person.   Make sure that the first time you meet is in a well-lit public place, such as a restaurant or popular bar. (See Chapter 15 for more tips on your first face-to-face meeting with someone you meet online.)   Dont be too quick to give out personal information. It may be best to give only a daytime office number or cell phone number at first.   Take a cab home from that first date - by yourself. Remember, its a jungle out there, and youre not Tarzan.     The love-at-first-sight syndrome Another group of people who can end up being miserable are those who suffer from the love-at-first-sight syndrome. The French call it le coup de foudre - the bolt of lightning - and rarely do people get hit by lightning (thank heavens!). Undoubtedly, love at first sight does happen: Two people meet at a party, ride off into the sunset (or dawn), and live happily ever after. For those lucky few, the experience is great. But for so many others, waiting for love at first sight brings only misery.   If you find yourself wanting nothing less than an instant attraction, you may just be avoiding the time and work required to build a successful relation- ship. When youll accept either love at first sight or nothing, be prepared for some problems:   You may stare into the eyes of a million people and never see those